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Wednesday, July 07, 2004

a post w/o a FF ref? 

i'm taking some time off of the blog thing. the auto industry has the summer shut-down this week & next, so i'm taking some time to relax & ponder whether continuing this blog is something i want to do or not. in the meantime, i hope you enjoy the following.

not sure what made me think of this, but i compiled a list of my favorite gestures, or body language if you will.

7) the post work meeting blast to the head- if you get yelled at by your boss, get torched in a meeting in front of co-workers, nothing beats a subtle gun to the head suicide blast. a light gun sound effect adds some spice.

6) the sign of the devil- the pinky & index fingers extended on a raised arm is a tradtional rock-star gesture. coupled w/ a tongue sticking out & crazy eyes, it's intense. perfect listening to ac/dc, a good rock show, or just partying hard in general. it also has extra value by using it mockingly at either a lame concert or while listening to lame music. i busted this one at the tastefest last week while watching those students known as rooney.

5) the 'suck it' crotch grab- used mainly in heated debates in sports, or arguments between friends & enemies alike, it's a spin-off of the middle finger. i used this one alot when i played baseball, pretending to be adjusting my cup. hated the other team.

4) the 'kiss my ass' cheek smack- don't like what someone asks/orders you to do? simply turn 180 degrees, stick out your rump exageratedly & point to it &, then smack it a few times, while making some annoying kissing sounds. dumb & dumber has a good example of proper usage (see harry dunn & lloyd christmas).

3) the over-the-top non-veiled eye roll- someone says something so stupid, you want them to see what a schmuck they are w/out needing to use words. you want them to see this. it's like saying 'yeah, that's great, you're the dumbest human being on earth you handjob'.

2) middle finger- the ultimate eph off. transends across all cultures & all demographics. a bit overused at times, but well-timed spontaneous usage can't be topped.

1) the laugh & leg touch- flirting w/ a cute girl, there is nothing that melts me faster than the smile, laugh, & leg touch. when you get that, it's things are going well, don't eph it up. throw in hair tossles, lip licking & it's hey-now.

other notables:
the thumb's up- buzzless unless it's in tribute to former detroit lion mike utley, who was paralyzed playing football back in the early 90's. he gave the thumb's up sign as he was being carted off the field on a stretcher. very bland otherwise.

the ok sign- too confusing across cultures. very boring as well. in the US, it's means 'good' or 'alright'. but in greece, it is very offensive & is the equivalent of the middle finger. but this isn't russia, so on this blog it has no buzz.

the 'that's such a bad idea i'd rather jag-off'- bad idea thrown out or just bored by a suggestion, the obvs j-off gesture is still funny. must be exagerated, or it's kind of sick.

the gun & wink- only douchebags use this one. it's not cool, never was.

the wink- too confusing. usually i'm like, does that mean 'just kidding', or 'just play along', or 'are they coming on to me?'. too ambiguous.

pointing to someone, then pointing to your eyes w/ the pointer/middle fingers- says 'i'm watching you' or 'i got my eyes on you focker'. deniro used this perfectly in 'meet the parents'. it's best. that song was just about a boy & his magical dragon.

any thoughts, or other ones, backblog it.

seacrest out.

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