Tuesday, March 23, 2004

binging & purging  

spring is here. it's the time of year when people start trying to lose weight to look better by summertime. being the fattest city (not in the p-h kinda way), in the fattest industry (auto), detroiters love their coney's & pizza's like no other, even milwaukee. every couple years, some db's i work with get an office pool going whereby whomever loses the highest % of weight in 3 month's wins. this year is no different.

reading old hag's 'f*ck the diet--pass the kimchee hot dogs' on friday & a front-page story in the sunday detroit freep about how obesity costs mich $3bills in addish healthcare costs per year, reminded me of how annoyed i currently am sitting in the office everyday. both stories are good. it's all atkins this & atkins that at work.

6 people i work w/ are 1 month into a 90 day weight-loss contest. each threw in $100. now all i hear about is that I'M going to regret eating an entire bag of skittles--'do you know how much sugar/carbs are in that 1 small bag?'. 'um, no, i don't. i like skittles & i'm not that worried about my weight. thanks, your concern is important to me'.
mischa's barfin

i wasn't asked to join, cos i'm 5'5" 130lbs-- losing 15lbs & looking like a strung-out junkie is so 1990's. everyday all i hear about is what they ate for breakfast, lunch & dinner the prior day--a one-pound steak, a salad w/ low carb dressing, 1/2 pound of pork rinds, & 5 michelob ultras, cos it's low carb beer, 4 bun-less whoppers, etc. there's a weigh-in like every morning, followed-up w/ a half hour session of talking shite to eachother.

since i'm totally ephed in my march madness tourney brackets, i'm pissed off & not as distracted as usual today. one was talking about how guilty he felt today after lunch-- he ate a calzone & 2 pieces of cake. says damore in a dry tone, 'why not start losing weight the old fashioned way? stop being such a p*ssy & go puke all that crap up. all the movie stars do it--like mischa's barfin, lara flynn boyle, etc. you're a lazy guy, right? you could start doing speed. you'll lose alot of weight, win $500, & be more alert ALL day.' the response was, 'yeah, thanks...psycho'.

seers, these 6 people are so grumpy all day they make me look like katie ephing kouric's brother's attorney--happy by association. if you're in one of these contests, do yourself a favor & just develop an eating disorder or two. start taking drugs, don't talk about the menu from yesterday, & don't lecture me on why such & such food is bad for me.

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