Friday, July 02, 2004


pudding popsJELLLLLOOOOOOOOO! doctor bill cosby...uncorked! he goes pretty much psycho on black america covering hot topics such as linguistics, teen pregnancy, education, & domestic violence. i think he's gone mad since so sayeth the peabs was retired last month, & his laughable candidacy as VP in the 'obvs in 04' campaign.

"I can't even talk the way these people talk, 'Why you ain't,' 'Where you is' ... and I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk," Cosby said then. "And then I heard the father talk ... Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth...You've got to stop beating up your women because you can't find a job, because you didn't want to get an education and now you're (earning) minimum wage"

that's funny because he says 'knuckleheads'. who uses that term these days? cosby, that's who. & you better watch out, because he might call you out w/ a knuckle sandwich if you disrespect him. i love the line 'you can't become a doctor'. he's still stuck in the cosby show irreality, like he's doctor cliff huxtable. i know this is a serious subject matter & all, but the entire time i read this article i kept imagining him saying 'You know what isn't bad these days?...JELLLLLLOOOOO pudding pops! flizzum flazzum!'.

as of press time, no comment from peabs.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

bad news bears part II 

2nd consecutive day where i receive a call from one of the graham brothers informing me of franzia ferdinand doings-a-transpiring. the grizz on tuesday re: dunst on TRL, uncle grambo yesterday. UG's v-mail went like this (no bs, not like my other fabricated emails, etc):

6/30/04 9:04pm 'Damore, what's going on dude, it's Grambo. i got bad news...Franz f*cking Ferdinand is on DRQ, which does not bode well. This song's got staying power...we're in trouble. Uhhhhh, yeah that's it, I'll talk to you later'.

'take me out' on DRQ? wwwwwWORST. franzia has gone totally mainstream. move over john mayer, they are officially the new dave matthews band. all you hipsters, the joke is actually on you. you like top 40 music now! add that franzia disc to your matchbox20 & goo goo dolls albums. what's that, you don't own those bands' albums? sure. don't believe me? remember how much buzz & street cred coldplay lost last year when all their stuff (in my place, clocks, god put a smile...,the scientist) was all over every US radio station & mtv? and that's coldplay, an extremely talented band, w/ mucho staying power. much more so than franzia. my guess is that in 3 months (october'ish), after overplay & fan burnout, their supposed 'hardcore' fans will get bored of them after their next 'can't miss' dance-fest abortion tour, & jump on the bandwagon of some other young underground band. maybe i'm wrong...maybe harry potter also likes them. which is the tru benchmark any great new band.

summation: franzia is for young 20-somethings who don't know any better (kinda like the white stripes in 2001-present) & people who think they know what good music is, but can't remember the talking heads & blondie. it's for little girls & house-wives.

seacrest in? reuters is reporting that 'on-air w/ ryan douchecrest' will be renewed for a 2nd season .

seacrest out!

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

lazy wednesday afternoon 

poor lindsay lohan. what will this do to her? her dad was just arrested for skipping out on a $3800 hotel bill in long island.

the libertines...what a ephing soap opera. i feel bad for the nme beat team that has to work their tails off to stay current of all this drama. the prep schoolers will tour on...w/out pete doherty. no buzz. "it is with regret that the libertines announce they are to continue without singer and guitarist peter doherty due to his well-known addiction problems, specifically with crack cocaine and heroin".

lousy band, funny story (on mtvnews). saliva singer josey scott tee's off on casablancas & chad kroeger. here's the heart of it:

"I don't think American kids are really into it," he said, citing the Vines and Strokes as examples. "American kids wanna get in the mosh pit. They wanna get dirty. Chicks wanna show their t--s. They wanna rock. They want something that kicks ass, and the Strokes and all that sh-- ain't gettin' it done. I'm not trying to cut them down, I'm just saying you gotta get the job done, man. When you walk onstage, you gotta get the job done. You gotta rock the f---in' party, and they don't do it. They never have and they never will."

He and former pal Chad Kroeger are responsible for the hit single "Hero" off 2002's "Spider-Man" soundtrack, and both appeared in the video. For services rendered, Scott was paid $5,000, though he claims they had a handshake deal stipulating that he would receive $40,000 for his studio time, and another $40,000 for the video.

"They [screwed] me on that song," Scott said. "I want the whole world to know it. They made millions off that song and threw me $5,000? That was foul, that was wrong, and that's bullsh--. They would have paid a janitor more than that. ... I can't even pay for my flights and my hotels with $5,000. What the f--- am I gonna do with $5,000? That's bullsh--."

wow, moving on...

i gotta say, if you haven't read the killers 'hot fuss' review posted on the nothing i know, you're missing out. it's funny & dead on. i'm actually a little pissed at myself for not hitting the killers out of the park in my last post. i'd say it was a inside-the-park home run on a throwing error. good stuff.

da! another blanking franzia story on reuters. mmmmWORST! kill me now

kick his ass sea bass! 

the grizz called me earlier today & played today's TRL on mtv (tivo'ed), which had kirsten dunst on today to promote spiderman2. she said possibly the WORST thing since elijah wood's appearance a few months back. at the end she was asked what she is listening to these days, to which she screeched something like 'i love franz ferdinand!'. wood said something like 'i totally love franz!'. are you shmears? there you have it. proof positive that this band is musical herpes simplex infinity+10.

i'm thinking of officially shifting my blog's entire focus to how much franzia suck it. i just don't understand their appeal. now i think it's just 'cool' to like the band that all these dodgy celebs are talking about. reminds me of creed's popularity. mainstream society is largely sheep-like, & when something has buzz, they adopt it, not because it's good, but because it's considered popular/in.

overratedi found real detroit shannon mccarthy's review of the killers to be much more on par than her franzia review 2 months ago. she never did have the stones to respond to my letter to the editor, oh well. mccarthy gives it a 3/5, average review, describing it as 'they sound like a lot of bands, which is exactly what impedes the band's debut, Hot Fuss, from being superb'.

editor's note: it's funny that mccarthy even says 'they're no franz ferdinand'!...classic.

photo credit: whatevsdotorgthe killers are ok. nothing new, nothing ground-shaking. 4 solid songs, & some filler. the funniest part is that most of the 'buzz' you read about them has nothing to do w/ their music at all. mostly girls who want to fuck them. & that's fine. just don't try to convince me they're the resurrection of jesus & the apostles. will you be listening to them in 8 months? do you still listen to the YYY's much? their name says it all...'we found out there was already the stills, thrills, kills so we added 2 letters toward the end'. nice safe bet. i still laugh out loud when i think of their embarrassingly pretentious coachella set where they had a 20-person choir come-out on stage to sing on the final minute of 'all these things that i've done'.

i've been too busy the past 2 months trashing the west coast blog scene, when really my attention should have been on the nyc holier-than-thou fucksters who think they define what's actually good or not. go read your precious little creem mag to find out what will be the next big thing.

i think i'll stick w/ listening to the bands these hip 'new' bands are trying so earnestly to emulate. nice try, sorry.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

a bullet in the head 

even mtv's john norris is taking the last train to durstville on the #11 franzia train. next stop: backalleyland. mtv news has a write-up on the band's puzzeling early success. here are some choice quotes from the story (which also mentions them in the same breath as the libertines...worst!):

mmmmWORST“We're a buncha lousy abortion clinic students, and we try to play music that's direct & not so good," said drummer Paul Thompson. "To me, the best music is immediate & terrible. It barely moves you and yet you can't pry yourself away. If it's a good tune in our book, it makes you want to slit your throat. When people say things like, 'My 3-year-old niece was dancing to your record w/ sharp knives & scissors the other day,' that's the worst because 3-year-old kids have no idea what's good or rubbish."

"The best bands come from the outside," Kapranos said, "whether it was Nirvana, who went to the top of the charts, or whether it was the Clash, Kinks, the Who or the Beatles. These were all bands who were doing something exciting and energetic and, at the time, fresh—and from a completely different angle. They weren't manufactured. They were just a bunch of guys that got together and decided to play some instruments and write some tunes. That's always the best way."

rekamhserf eht :sotnemFRESH? hmmm, if playing low-grade talking heads rip-offs is fresh, then consider me mentos. comparing themselves to nirvana, the who, the beatles, the clash? um, not so much. they got to the party 2 years too late. that would've been like bush (gavin, not gw) saying the same in 1995(wrt nirvana, pearl jam, etc). the 2003 x-mas cookies still in my desk are fresher than these tourists. i mean, if i hear 'take me out' played on 89x one more ephing time, i think i'm going to hang myself w/ the seatbelt while driving. i don't get it, i don't get it (1987 Big stizz).

if you like franzia, i pity you. i'm praying everyday for you & your soul.

Monday, June 28, 2004

buzz cola lite 

sounds like a bad movie, but i'll see it anyway (on dvd). into the blue, a treasure seeking action adventure movie featuring the lovely jessica alba & the db clone paul walker (i still don't know the difference between him, ryan philllllippppee...llllippppe & hayden christensen). okay, so maybe alba's buzz has died down dangerously to jennifer love hewitt levels since dark angel & honey, but w/ this she is poised to stage her comeback to the buzz levels attained during idle hands. this movie has it all...alba in bikinis, sharks, & cocaine. let's hope it isn't as bad as deep blue sea though. no ll cool j, no michael rappaport, no sam jackson is a good start. duhvs.

sea ray....revealed...EVEN MORE! check out the leafblower's interview w/ greg zinman of sea ray fame. while i am certain a human w/ a baboon's heart & the brain of a chimp could conduct a better interview than me, leafblower does so w/ out either, making it no contest. nice job, that's good stuff.

chromewaves also has a write-up on sea ray's show last night in toronto. hopefully next time through there will be more word-of-mouth buzz & more promotion to get bodies there.

unfortunately, the same # of people (15) were at the cadieux cafe saturday during the nice device's set. the band had to play 1st, as they had an opening gig at the majestic theatre that night. too bad no one knew about this outdoor show. hopefully this is just the start of more higher profiled opening slots as well.

as i revealed a rare sunday paper read yesterday, i found that the freep's brian mccollum finally wrote in praise of something relevant: the prime ministers. taking a break from blowing elephant, he gives their new album (the prime ministers go for glory) some high praise. (also on whatevs)

i just received 2 crazy hilarious emails from the grizz...just revealed minutes ago is that the verve pipe will be opening for REO speedwagon on july 10 at pine knob. if i wasn't already throwing a party that night, i would totally be there for this epic show. possibly the best bill since??? verve pipe...soooo 1992-1996.they must be pretty desperate...1st vanderark opens for bob guiney at the bag, now this? what's next, opening slots for boston & chicago at the county fair? did i say county fair, because i meant to the state fair. SARS ICE

even worse? gore gore girls will be opening for sugar ray at pine knob on july 25. SARS LITE. i guess it's good for exposure, but are any of the redneck hicks (at REO) & the douchebags (at sugar ray) going to get into their music run out to buy 10 copies of pop smear or villains? nope. maybe the gigs pay well (um, probably not), or it's all a big joke.

oasis...bunch of fookin students! after revealing 2 new mediocre tracks at glastonbury fest this weekend, they decide to work on new material (again!). maybe sacking death in vegas wasn't so smart after all? heathen chem 2 doesn't look so promising, now does it mates?

jewel whores herself out to clear channel. worst. who's next, norah jones?

so durst. courtney love's web site, is shut-down due to lack of $. love's asking fans to make donations or buy notso free 'free courtney' shirts at www.getvexed.com, which'll help pay the server bill. suck it!

the thrills new album to be released sept 14th. this just in...NOBODY CARES. just thinking about it makes me narcoleptic...

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