Friday, June 04, 2004

did you think that i was gonna give it up to you? 

borrrringas i was flipping channels last night, i saw that the stanley cup finals game 5 was on. i watched for ~3min, got bored & found 'what a girl wants' on cinemax was on. i watched ~ 10min of that, but couldn't figure what was going on since i tuned in during the middle of it. bynes. anyway, does anything have less buzz these days than nhl hockey? it's gary bettman's wet dream come tru: the calgary flames vs the tampa bay lightning. wow, lot of action. truthfully, i stop caring about hockey once the red wings are done for the season. i was hoping for a detroit/toronto finals, but whatever. this tv ratings abortion should cement the work stoppage later this year. the games look like they've been great, but i couldn't care any less about 2 teams. apparently you feel the same way since games 3 & 4 ratings were the lowest since 1998 (cough, wings, cough). 2 weeks ago i went, 'holy shitt, tampa bay is the #1 seed in the east...who knew'. calgary hasn't had ANY buzz since the '88 winter olympics & '89 when joey mullen helped them win the cup. maybe it's that i HATE seeing so many 1-0 or 2-1 outcomes. maybe that's why soccer has no buzz in the usa. tie games are the worst. so unsatisfying. for the record, i'm pulling for calgary. eph you tampa bay! eph you duff gardens!

since you're here because of whatevs, i'm wasting my time linking to today's feature presentation on whatevs. because i don't care, i'm covering it anyway. today's post titled 'juiced' might be the funniest post in the history of whatevs. his run-down of the oj reality show w/ ideas sporting appearances by pedro guerrero, marcus allen, deniro, jayson williams, etc=absopure buzz. one thing i'd like to suggest is adding kobe & jason kidd to the mardi gras caravan party of felons. fellons gone wild? felons gone ape shit! after the straw steals the last 8-ball, jayson williams 'accidentally' shoots the straw w/ a shotgun, his body is cut in half. oj & nate newton stage an elaborate farce (a la weekend at bernies) where nate compensates for the heavy blood loss by stuffing the straw's torso full of weed, & they duct tape the straw back together. he's even able to make another comeback playing for the yankees. but they all get busted when the straw shows up on time for court appearances & starts passing drug tests. makes for some gooooood watching.

i'm thinking that peabs' announcement that he's now retired from the blog business is a joke. though i guess it makes sense. he's done every drug there is, shagged every crack whore there is, partied w/ all the washed-up celebs from the 80's. what else is left to blog about? he's covered it all. i'll miss the daily posts by peabs, but he's pretty much like that in real life, so i'll be hanging out w/ the at home version of his blog anyway. cheers peabs, we salute you, you ephing handjob! now the pressure's on. first glamorama calls it quits this week, then peabs. if you're expecting me to pick up some slack, don't. retrobuzz peaked weeks ago. i'm waiting for www.thegorilla.blogspot.com & www.thegrizz.blogspot.com to debut soon.

'go see my new hit movie...jingle all the way'great fake-out mojo. granholms vs ah-nuld. AP...bunch of ephing drop-outs. if the rapers won, ah-nuld would send granholm a meal featuring wine, asparagus, strawberries & an in-n-out burger, which granholm would've eaten while sporting a lakers jersey. if the stones won, granholm would send ah-nuld a warm baked meat/potato pastie, a vernors, & chocolate covered michigan cherries, which ah-nuld would've eaten while sporting a pistons jersey. jennie, you dumb twat! (link via nummer & whatevs)

10 out of 10 teen music starlets won't even sleep w/ durst. avril disses durst, who tried to pick her up at the metallica tribute concert. this is the entire interview in rollingstone.">the short & sweet of it is located here. when is fred gonna finally realize that he is the worst human being on earth? (story via bigmatt)

mmmmmmmmBEST NEWS EVER!!!!!!!  

CREED BREAKS-UP (FINALLY)!!!!!!!!!! THERE IS A GOD. maybe nickelback & 3 doors down will be next? i thought that this was so funny i'm just posting the entire email that was forwarded to me by the grizz. best. the funniest part is the ending...that they're going to relaese a greatest hits album. what hits? WORST BAND EVER!!!!!!

'court is in session a verdict is in...creed sucks'One of the most successful songwriting partnerships and groups in the history of the music business disbands after nearly a decade together.

New York --- After nearly a decade together, Creed has decided to disband. During their 8 years and 3 albums together (My Own Prison, Human Clay, Weathered) Creed achieved countless Rock & Roll milestones and sold over 30 million albums worldwide. With their unprecedented success at radio and their captivating live shows, Creed became one of the most successful acts to rule the charts over the past ten years.

Creed songwriter/ guitarist Mark Tremonti has decided to join forces with Creed drummer Scott Phillips, original Creed bassist Brian Marshall and former Mayfield Four singer/ songwriter Myles Kennedy. The new band, named Alter Bridge, will release their debut album on Wind-up Records on August 10th of this year. Expect a promotional acoustic tour of radio stations later this Summer, followed by a worldwide tour to begin in late August or early September.

Creed songwriter/singer Scott Stapp has been busy in the studio writing and recording over the past several months. His first post-Creed recording will be featured on an album coming on August 31st via Wind-up Records that will pool together superstar talent, as they individually offer compositions inspired by the film The Passion of the Christ. Simultaneously to tracking his contributions to the Passion title, Stapp will continue to work with producer 7 Aurelius, and has joined forces with Canadian rockers The Tea Party to work on his solo debut.

On the dissolution of Creed, Tremonti commented, "It's kind of sad to end a chapter of your life, but it's also exciting to be starting a new one. We'll always be proud of the music we made with Creed, but Alter Bridge gives me the opportunity to start over with a different perspective and a more evolved direction. This band begins and ends with the love of the music." Phillips continues, "Creed was definitely a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but I'm really excited to be starting over as well. The most significant things that we are taking from the Creed experience are the lessons that we learned. We truly believe that the decisions we've made for our future are the right ones. After writing and rehearsing the new material, we are confident that we've made the right choices."

'we're gonna take you on a journey...'Stapp shared, "Creed was one of the most amazing journeys through music and friendship I am blessed to say I was a part of. I made memories I can never replace! I just want to thank the fans who supported us and became a part of the Creed experience. We could not have accomplished anything without you!(fans)."

Also in 2004, Wind-up Records will be releasing a Creed Greatest Hits compilation. Details will be made available as plans for the album take shape.

Thursday, June 03, 2004

rockin' the hills? 

borrrrring...special guests on the new thrills album. wow, that's great, but it still gonna suck major ass.

i got a scorching bad case of LIBS simplex II. the libertines do a 180, end up supporting fascism/racism by dropping of the 'love music hate racism' festival this weekend in the uk. harry potter likes em. who cares what celebs like them, they blow. bunch of ephing...drop-outs.

great, bono drags chris martin into his african aid cause (not bt to be confused w/ the african aids cause), along w/ other b-listers such as jude law, helen mirren, colin firth, joseph fiennes & minnie driver. they signed an open letter to tony blair urging more economical support of africa/other 3rd world nations. i'm not making fun, i think it's great. it's good to see that martin has temporarily gone away from his lame & obscure 'maketradefairforpotatofarmers.com'campaign to something a little more major league.

voted the band most likely to have an stdwhile on billboard, i saw this article. i thought this would be a more fitting title: new crappy bands play the hills w/ old washed-up crappy bands. nickelback, 3 doors down, puddle of mudd, plus warrant, great white, tesla, styx, dokken, jackyl (i love songs featuring chainsaws!) & live (wtf?!) will all (plus others!) play the event. i don't condone terroism, glorification of the unnatural loss of human life, etc, but IFFFF a large public event was ever the target of such attacks, this would be my pick. like if it was one of those situations where you had to pick one of two events that had to get bombed, or both events would get bombed if you didn't chose one. like if someone asked 'the staples center for a lakers game or the 'rockin' the hills' concert?'. no brainer, this concert every time. okay then...

sum41...worst. now a choice between a sum41 show & a 'rocking the hills' concert? flip a coin.

i'd throw some blog linkage buzz here but i haven't really read much today.

a movie even YOU will hate 

this has been a bad week at work so far. i've had to focus on my job alot more than usual, working long hours etc. that's why posts have been poor & sporadic this week.

damore, why review a movie you said was the worst you've ever seen? cos i'm fresh out of any good ideas (like always) & this is too easy. not to mention that hopefully at least a couple folks will be inspired by it to not see it out of spite. if i miss some details it's because i a) fell asleep no less than 4 times or b) the movie makes no logical sense & i screwed up the interpretation.

the day after tomorrow
god bless ice hammerseven a hangover on a rainy chicago day couldn't make this movie the least bit tolerable. i see about 8 movies per year in the theatre, & this is no kill bill. it starts off in Antarctica, where dennis quaid & 2 of his scientist cronies are collecting some data or something. a giant faultline cracks the ice causing a giant rift that's ~10 feet wide to start. at 45 yrs old, dennis quaid somehow manages to jump across it, in full arctic gear mind you, to save the precious boring data they no doubt spent laborious months collecting. he grabs 3 tubes of data & the rift then becomes 20 feet, stretching now miles wide & thousands of feet deep. wielding the data tubes, he takes 2 steps (in snow shoes) & takes a huge leap & BARELY makes it across. his trusty ice hammer saves his life as he's about to plunge to his bloody death. this would be where a logical movie ends, but alas his friends pull him up to safety.

somehow later that day he's in DC & reporting his findings. he's a world renowned environmentalogist (i think i just made up that word), & he reports that a major change in the world's weather will start in 6-8 months. the vice president is there, & he's pretty much dick cheney to a tee. he scoffs at quaid & say's he's full of it, & does nothing, blah blah blah. hours later in tokyo, a giant ice storm starts. like 10 pound chunks of ice, smashing cars & skulls effortlessly. so it's starting now, not 6-8 months from now. i can't remember the next parts so well, but i think it's character development where we learn that he's divorced workaholic, has a teenage son named donnie darko, & he's a bad father w/ good intentions who was never there for the fam. donnie goes to nyc for a 'mathletes'type trip, which he joined for a cute girl.

capital records blows!some parts i found hysterical:
-giant tornados in the LA. news reporters standing on the street 50 feet from giant cyclones, destroying the capital records HQ, the hollywood sign, etc. alot of people died & all i could do was laugh alot. the city pretty much gets completely leveled, foreshadowing what the stones will do to the lakers in the nba finals.

-a giant ice storm starts in europe which covers the entire continent. there's 15 feet of snow pouring down on every EU country.

-while all of this is happening across the globe, the us government has dennis quaid, his 2 cronies, & a woman who works at nasa working on the problem. seriously, 4 ephing people! not even sporting interns, temps, or international resources. 3 scotsmen isolated somewhere have all of this ocean data to crunch, but no resources to do it. solution? email 50gig files of data across the atlantic to quaid & his crew. done & done. all the data is thrown into quaid's computer model, & bam!, 4 hours later they know what events will happen next. the next ice age.

this movie blows!-nyc gets flooded w/ rain, a giant tsunami hits, & there's 800 feet of water covering the city. luckily, donnie & co go to the safest place, the nyc public library, duhvs. moments before, darko's gf runs out to a taxi to help save a mother & her child get to safety. upon hearing that they left their passports in the cab, she runs out to certain death & cuts her leg badly in the process. risking your own life to saves other lives=noble. risking one's life to save passports=dumbest thing ever. darko narrowly rescues her & as they get inside, the building is completely flooded, & they manage to escape. suddenly it's snowing & very cold.

-it starts snow storming, the water freezes, & all the people want to leave & walk out of the city to go down south. darko remembers what his dad told him just hours ago, & tries to convince everyone that if they leave, they will freeze to death since it will soon be -150 deg f. they laugh, & later they all die. lesson: don't eph w/ quaid the scientist.

-dennis quaid promises to get from dc to nyc in 1 day to save darko & co. there's 10 feet of snow on the ground. no roads, no visibility. so they take a dodge ram pick-up w/ a snow plow. i'm mr plow, that's my name. that name again is mr plow. somehow they get to phily alive in 2.5 hours, crash into a bank, & then quaid says, 'get out, it's time to throw on the snow shoes, we're walking. it's 40 miles to nyc. if we don't get there by tomorrow donnie darko dies. i made a promise to my son'.i couldn't walk 40 miles in 2 days in the summer. these guys are going to make it in 0 deg weather, wearing snow shoes, carrying 100 lbs of gear, etc in 1 freaking day?

-along the way, they fall through the glass topping of a mall. they cut lose the sled full of gear, & 1 of the cronies cuts himself lose & dies to save his friends. how did they end up on top of a mall at least 300 feet high? did it snow that much in a day?

crazy special fx!-10 people stay at the nyc library, they bunker up on the top floor, raid the vending machines & the lost & found (for clothes), & burn books stay warm. annoying banter ensues about which books should/shouldn't be burned. the girl gets really sick & a librarian pulls a rabbit from the hat by figuring out that her symptoms mean that she has an infected cut on her leg. 'see...books are good for some things'. she needs penicillin/antibiotics to save her. darko & co board the mysterious freighter that is now docked in front of the library to find some. some CG wolves that escaped from the zoo somehow end-up on board the freighter, after smelling food (darko & co) on board. seemed kind of like the doberman sequence in resident evil, even that the wolves jumped through the cage at the zoo. worst. the kids escape, & it's about to become -150 deg f outside. they literally out-run the freezing air & freezing building. just as the freezing process hits upstairs, they close the door, it freezes, but the warmth from the blazing book burning session stops the air from freezing.

-they make it to nyc, quaid says, 'where's the library?'. crony #2 looks at his gps & says, 'we're on top of it right now. i don't think we made it in time'. they walk 4 steps, & suddenly the library is revealed.

-they walk into the room where the kids are, & it looks like they're dead. nope, just sleeping. the pres sends rescue choppers from mexico to save them. the us highjacks mexico's land AGAIN. the end. so thought provoking. there was a great quote in the trib this past weekend (written by mark caro) where he wrote, 'environmentalists trying to rally support for environmental causes/reform using 'let's clear the air: environmentalists latching onto 'the day after tomorrow' to generate thoughtful discussion about global warming is akin to animal-rights activists rallying around 'scooby-doo' or free-trade advocates using 'star wars: episode I-the phantom menace' as a teaching tool. 'the day after tomorrow' is a dumb, dumb movie'. perfect analogy. the water/freezing CG fx in this movie were pretty much exactly the same as the fire/explosion CG fx in independence day. how original.

worst movie ever. sorry this is so lengthy, but it's really that bad.

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

holy cow! 

'get that shitte outa here!'deeeee-troit bassssket-ball! deeeee-troit bassssket-ball! deeeee-troit bassssket-ball! pistons avoid a no-win game 7 scenario in indy by pulling out a dub against the AMC Pacers at the palace. the first half was ugly. when i tuned in the stones were down like 13-4. w/ like less than 4 in the half it was like 27-24. the first half was a total 1978 auburn hills michigan brick-alley abortion clinic. i'd say the 2nd half was a big improvement, but it really wasn't. it was plain & simple: blue-collar basketball. the stones don't just ride out a game on the leather arses like some west-coast teams...they grind it out. the best part about the entire game last night was seeing my favorite detroit douchebags in attendance douching it up. i'm talking kid rock & chris cheliblos sitting next to eachother (also next to chris 'please call me drapes' draper). durst. they had like 20 beers lined-up in front of them. i can't think of a bigger collection of d-bags i'd want to hang out w/ less. maybe carrot-top, durst, & oj simpson. kid rock on the court trying to get the crowd 'arroused' was hilarious. he might be the most white-bread-trust-fund-baby piece of white trash ever. walmarts.

'i'm the rapist & he's the mvp'too bad the stones didn't face the celts & vin baker in the 1st round. we could've defeated a lazy drunken thief first (if he played at all). then the pistons would've taken out jason wife-beating & kidd out, then next up they'd take out the trash & defeat the kobe-the-date-rapist. & remember, he's not innocent until proven guilty per se, he's only PRESUMED innocent, until proven guilty. big difference. stones will bovs over those fake ephing tees in 7. duhvs.

speaking of durst, enjoy this pic. worst. (via the grizz)fred durst

congrats out to megan at the employee comedy corner of the world. yesterday she graced us all w/ her 100th post. cheers megan, that's good stuff. if i were still in chicago, i would've totally bought you a 'party cake' & fedex'ed it to you. i saw hundreds of 'party cake shops' there this past weekend. chi-town, what's the story w/ that? yesterday i also happened to celebrate my 100th post on retrobuzz.

it's good to be back on a stable diet of phc this week. ah, that's the stuff. thank you whatevs.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

mckean's gotta go! 

what a crazy weekend. no posts friday or monday. too much partying. hopefully you did some yourselves.

thursday- went to the sea ray/metric/stills show in the d. met up pre-show w/ grambo at jacoby's for a couple beers. there were alot of teens lined-up early at 6:45pm when i walked by during sound check. at the venue, a few more drafts were consumed quickly, sea ray started their set at ~8pm. for the first of three opening bands, there was surprisingly a pretty large crowd there watching them. we met up w/ nummer/gp jen, & later h-bomb & her sis, & eric. grambo took alot of pics, none of which i have yet to post. they played fan favorites like sister gone, quiver, revelry, & even a new song (that i can't remember the title of--too much booze). they built up some good crowd momentum during their set, but w/ only 30min to work with, the audience is always left wanting more. hopefully their next time around they'll get a longer set.

mmmmBEST!next up was metric. emily haines was best. she was running around on stage, really getting the crowd into it. what a rock star. makes mick jagger look like mick jagg-off when it comes to rockstardom. post show i was able chat w/ her for awhile & even got a pic w/ her (which nummer ruined by jumping in on!), & getting her autograph on a metric poster. she wrote, 'for damore, love & respect-emily haines---xoxo'. she even sharpied a rectangular box around my name for dramatic effect. mmmmBEST!

being my 7th time seeing the stills (3 as an opener, 3 as headliner, 1 at coachella), i spent most of their set talking to sea ray, who were really gracious as always. mental note, next time, eat dinner before going out & drinking alot. stay away from 22's of rolling rock as well!

the good folks in sea ray were nice enough to hook me & dirty mckean up w/ guest list buzz for the friday show in chicago at the metro. after a $30 cab ride, i didn't get to dirty's until 8pm. we quickly had a beer, grabbed a bite to eat plus drinks, cabbed over to the metro w/ little time to spare. i felt bad calling jeff literally 5min before their set, as i didn't see his email from earlier about which guest list i'd be on. security was shutting us out. note to self, check email more often.

navy blue. duhvs!rather than re-hash the same show over, i'll re-cap. sea ray was solid, & they got into town late too. solid crowd there for them again. i heard alot of people saying after sea ray/metric that they were there for the stills, but they ended up liking sea ray/metric more. i split downstairs to buy a sea ray tee half way through the stills set. talked to ann brewster & got backstage to say hey/thanks to the rest of the band. ended up hanging out there & got dirty backstage too. beer was reportedly running low, so dirty stole a red stripe from the stills room. best! it really didn't matter since everyone back there got kicked out to the downstairs club anyway soon thereafter. i talked to emily haines again briefly in the bar. about an hour into being there, dirty got booted out by security. they said 'mckean's gotta go!'. all dirty could do was text grumbo w/ 'dirty is lost--send damore pics from last night's show'. grambo replied w/ 'grumbo is drunk'. i went outside to try & get dirty back in, but security got on the radio then said to me, 'you're okay, but not the guy in the white shirt (dirty)'. no explanation. all we could think of was mistaken identity.

the worst part of the weekend was the lousy weather in chi-town. it was so bad that it rained pretty much the entire time, or was cloudy & cold. didn't leave much to do outside, since i'm not a big fan of 'shopping', other than for music. saturday afternoon was spent taking in a screening of 'mean girls'. if it made me forget for 2 hours that i was hungover, it would be a good movie in my mind. it did that & much more. it was the funniest movie i've seen since dumb & dumber in the movie theater. that says alot since that is pretty much my favorite movie ever. i would go see it again in a heartbeat & it's definitely a instant dvd purchase. duhvs. sunday was even crappier weather.
dirty- 'what do you want to do today?'
damore- 'i don't know, the weather blows'
dirty- 'go get drunk?'
damore- 'no, i've gotten drunk the past 3 nights. maybe see a shitty movie?'
dirty- 'i've already seen everything but the day after tomorrow'
'ok. worst'

so we went anyway, figuring it couldn't possibly be any worse than independence day, & being hungover, the special effects should makeup for the terrible storytelling & plot holes. nothing could've been further from the truth. THIS was the funniest movie i have EVER seen. WORST MOVIE EVER! when i wasn't sleeping (4 times!!), i laughed at every line in the movie, all the dramatic scenes, the laughable scenarios, etc. anyway, it's so terrible i'm going to do a review of it to post the day after yesterday.

chi-town was best despite the weather. cheers to sea ray/metric/dirty for the good times. mmmmBEST!

i'll post some graphics w/ this post later, sorry.
damore's gotta go!

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?