Friday, April 23, 2004

give me a break 

bilson buzz
oc wrap party buzz
the oc wrap party was written up yesterday by sub-extraordinaire megan over at the blueprint, but i'm always a day late/dollar short. bilson doesn't reveal much about the last couple eps, but chino & sandy (ben mackenzie & peter gallagher) reveal a pregnancy/cliffhanger in the finale. wow, never could have guessed that. just guessing, maybe ryan has to pick between coop/theresa, cos he got theresa preggers back when they together at the motel? probably. or maybe ju-ju is preggers w/ luke's kid? probably not.
*oc buzzage via the grizz

SO MUCH BUZZ!!!! rachel bilson will be guesting on the jimmy kimmel show next weds, 4/28. mmmmBEST! too bad i don't get into la until the day after (sigh).
you're all a bunch of f*cking idiots!
doors/astbury- good interview w/ the cult's ian astbury on his role in the doors. i'm looking forward to seeing them in concert again. their tour last year was outstanding. if you don't like the doors, blow me. mr mojo risin is irreplaceable, but ian astbury brought the voice, the look & swagger, & chaotic spirit of morrison pretty well for a sub. no plans yet to release new doors material, but astbury has been working on a solo record. demos have been made w/ the likes of gorden raphael (strokes) & james lavelle (unkle).

wk buzz!!---w-best to star host a new advice/video show on mtv2, 'your friend, andrew wk', 'which will debut may 22. wk will answer emails from viewers submitted via mtv2.com and will also deal directly w/ fans on each ep...wk said, 'the show shouldn't be about ME, it should be about US', and that's the way it works...i don't know if i'm really qualified to be giving someone advice, but since people are asking for it, i'm going to do the best i can to help them out!'
*wk buzzage via the grizz

strokes +xbox=no buzz
tues 4/27, singer julian & fab will compete in xbox game w/ fame, by playing baseball & tennis games vs fans online. 'newyorkcitycops' is their name, & also their best song which should've made the 1st cut of 'is this it?' if they weren't such pussbags. gamecube all the way. they should be playing 'the party'!

Thursday, April 22, 2004

tru travesty 

tru hottnessfox...why must you torment me so much?! fox released their early renewals for the 2004-2005 season...the oc, bernie mac, 24, & malcolm in the ephing middle. no tru calling...yet. wtf?! the rest of the '04-'05 renewals will be announced on may 20th. the oc is obvs. 24...i don't like/don't watch--but it's obvs, bernie mac--obvs. malcolm in the middle. renewed. tru calling. not renewed (yet). frankie db muniz. has a job. dushku. in limbo. are fox execs retarded? tru calling is the best show...ever.
(thanks to nummer for this depressing buzz kill)

the thoughts on the last night's the oc- 'the shower'
1) love the opening family kitchen scenes. good music, witty banter
2) seth-funny for a change going through the new family tree
3) theresa- yep, you're engaged to a wife-beater.
4) bob seger ref's=best. is ju-ju coop the reason luke was so into seger? seger is good, but rock&roll hall of fame good? nope.
5) um, julie...you have zero friends. kirsten was tanked when she agreed to be you maid of honor.
6) coffee has no buzz, chino/coop should be drinking sparks, or at least 40's.
7) summer, so best!
even cohen knows chino is too brooding
9) cohen-lunch w/ mr roberts, not such a good idea. he doesn't want to hear about rooney & comic books.
10) theresa- die! die! die! get out of the oc.
11) celery's gay--who knew.
12) cohen, ditch the rooney poster in your room fcs!
13) jimmy--about time you started tapping that ass (haley)
14) coop- so happy & coy, & not annoying. did she hit up sonic burger today?
15) kirsten boozing it up. awesome. but what, no sparks in the oc?
16) coop to julie 'actually i came by to sabotage your wedding shower by inviting aunt cindy'. so mean. so best.
17) aunt cindy- so trashy, so vulgar, so hates julie.
18) def leppard resets=gold. hysteria...top 5 in 87.
19) cindy's 'libra...always a hottie' t-shirt. durst.
20) chrismakkuh explanation=not good topic. mr roberts would rather talk about the merits of ben gibbard & james mercer.
21) haley- slllllut!
22) coop- fun, laughing, eating cake. eat more often.
23) fox2 problem solvers commercial---F*CK OFF! (i'm wasted at this point)
24) seth-shut-up, i'm pretty sure summer's dad hates you.
25) theresa/chino- both brooding now. why is theresa's voice so deep? tranny? is that why eddie popped you? 'dicks w/ chicks, guy's w/ boobs. we could get girls w/ pussies in detroit'-taxi cab confessions reset sorry.
26) coop, don't be jealous, chinos' stick together.
27) julie coop-'is it too early to start drinking?' nope, never. but shagging in monster trucks? walmarts.
28) chuck woolery & rick springfield resets? absopurely best
29) jimmy-haley is a whore. duh. enjoy it for what it is. she's going to ruin the lighthouse selling speedball & sex.
30) caleb- so desparate. he'd hump a coffee table if he had to. ikeas or pottery barns. even targets!
31) summer-no one's good enough for your dad. your dad's in love w/ you
32) chino-don't invite theresa to move-in. tell her to move-in w/ luke in portland, listening to seger's 'night moves' & luke's dad w/ his partner.

the polls have spoken 

4/23/04 AP Post-No Buzz Poll - The OC 'The Shower'
1) Aunt Cindy (72)- More useless than Luke's gay dad bit.
2) Theresa (67)- Apparently the only thing to do in Chino when in trouble is move in with the Cohen's, try something different sweetie before the AP gives you a matching set of black eyes.
3) Summer (44)- Could your character have anymore drastic changes?
4) Chino (31)- Don't even know where to start.
5) The Underscore (21)-Some of the worst music cues ever to have been used on televison.
*1st place votes indicated in parenthesis

4/23/04 USA Today Post-No Buzz Poll - The OC 'The Shower'
1) Theresa (91)-maybe 'walmarts eddie' discovered captain winkee? very deep voice. moving to oc=bad, suicide=best
2) Cohen (74)-way to go dumbass, you blew it w/ summer's dad. i know one usa today pollster who's sitting pretty in the on-deck circle for miss roberts' attention.
3) Eddie (55)-wasn't even in the episode, but i could still see the full wardrobe of walmarts wifebeaters.worst
4) Julie Coop (51)-sllllllllutttt!!!!
5) Caleb (34)-getting married in 2 weeks? he's tired of wasting his viagra & jergens on the home shopping network programming.
5) Chino (34)-inviting your ex-girlfriend to live w/ you in the poolhouse. smart.
*1st place votes indicated in parenthesis

any thoughts? backblog it.

more oral pleasuring. kwobvs 

i thought this is pretty funny. mischa's barfin has been banned from clothing store fred segal for lighting the store up in print. hopefully walmarts doesn't see my blog. i buy all of my wifebeaters there. fred segal, no buzz. do they like have a pic of mischa on wall of shame in the store? i would've thanked her for the publicity & sent her some free stuff (link via so says i)
run dmc stizz. cobvs!
hello fox, the fat albert movie w/out bill cosby=WORST IDEA EVER. no one cares. no retrobuzz. add in aaron carter & the another boy-band pussbag i've never heard of & it's a topeka 1972 back-alley abortion. i know cosby is busy w/ the obvs in '04 campaign, the many gang-bangs & all, but it just won't be the same. bizzle bozzle!

while i don't like nyc mayor bloomberg, mostly because of the smoking ban in bars (for which it only really effects me for the 3 day's i'm there each year), i never really liked snapple beverages much. they had the worst commercials. snapple's trying to become 'big apple', the official beverage of nyc. worst. obvs that girl is already spoken for...sparks.
what would life in the d be w/out another scandel development (well, not really a new one) in the mayor's office? stripper allegedly dances at a private party at the mayor's mansion. stripper's show name is 'strawberry'. strawberry dies. cops investigate death/link to mayor kwame kilpatrick. investigating cop x-ferred to another job for mis-spelling 'homicide' & other grammatical mistakes. sounds legit. cop sues kwame. it's a very sexy administration, probably the sexiest ever. dar-yl, dar-yl, dar-yl. kwobvs.

more oc related material to be posted later today.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

more nonsense 

happy birthday props today to peabs over at sstp. show him some love & tell him how sweet he is. even if it is a lie.

snow patrol's song 'spitting games' was featured on last night's one tree hill ep. the 2nd ep they've been featured in (i think). i believe the 1st was 'tiny little fractures' a couple weeks back. yes, i watch one-tree hill, i'm a loser, & i'm comfortable w/ it. anyway, i'm excited for their show this sat 4/24 at the shelter. i don't understand the coldplay comparisons, other than they are english too. but i do think they sound a little like pete yorn & idlewild, which is good. after reading concert write-up's on karen+1 & 5500 this past week, i'm expecting major buzz revealed.
still so popular in japan
watched jon stewart's daily show last night & found a couple items to be hilarious:
'what the f*ck does george tenet have to do to get fired?!'- stewart commenting on the bob woodward 60min piece where tenet was described as emphatically telling bush that finding weapons of mass destruction in iraq would be a 'slam dunk'.

rob corddry reading excerpts from colin powell's 'hello kity diary'. best.

some oc buzz 

some more oc buzz in today's usa today/freep (link courtesy of bigmatt at mc rocks)

speaking of usa today, the pollsters just sent me their pre-'the shower' oc no-buzz rankings.
4/22/04 USA TODAY Pre-No Buzz Poll - The OC 'The Shower'
1) Eddie (99)-beating up your fiance, in a wife-beater no less. pure irony. walmarts!
2) Theresa (75)-what did you think eddie was like? he wears wife-beaters even in the shower.
3) Julie Coop (48)-don't be embarassed, we all knew you were always a tramp. c'mon, you were shagging your daughter's ex-ex fcs.
4) Chino (36)-killing eddie would be fun & all, but is theresa worth years of the worstevs type of sex? prison sex=no buzz.
5) Cohen (29)-less talking. no comic books, no rooney. stick to what you know. more death cab & shins.
*1st place votes indicated in parenthesis
mischa's barfin
Note-worthy- Coop trying to ruin her mom's wedding, that's totally best. 1st time coop has dropped out of the top5. pollsters sound very enthusiastic about this ep. i don't think it was just that they were noticably drunk when they voted. i'm optimistic this ep will be the best in weeks.

4/22/04 AP Pre-No Buzz Poll - The OC 'The Shower'
1) Theresa (82)-The show is called THE OC, not The Chino. go away.
2) Eddie (62)-Nice stash dip shit.
3) Caleb (41)-Marry sluts much?
4) Chino (27)-Can you come up with another brooding look?
5) Julie Cooper (17)-What's next a threesome with your daughter and
*1st place votes indicated in parenthesis

the ap pollsters once again show why they are the oc masters. concise, cutting, & funny. amazingly, the AP'sters & the USA Today'sters agreed on coop falling out of the top5. theresa & eddie are flip-flipped 1 & 2. Only difference in the top5's are caleb at #3 slot in the AP, & cohen in #5 slot in usa today.

more buzz than 80 on rumblestrips  

finally a tarantino guest app that doesn't suck...darkness, la, kimmel. well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

ash buzz!! sfbest! skywalker ranch...finally george lucas has some buzz. new single 'orpheus' is released may 3rd, new album 'meltdown' to be released may 17 in uk (amazon.uk is so warranted). i assume from the cryptic talk wheeler & co are in talks w/ lucas to use some ash songs in star wars games or the final star wars movie. best! while i think chris martin the person blows, i'm looking forward to hearing him teamed up w/ ash to cover the buzzcock's 'everybody's happy nowadays' for yet another upcoming blank-of-the-dead zombie movie, 'shaun of the dead'--for which i have no energy to research.
head's-up uncle grambo! liz phair & nina persson to head-line this summer's 'chicks w/ attitude' tour. there will be a detroit date. despite the maybe it's maybelline tour sponsership, i say mmmmBUZZ

Tuesday, April 20, 2004


durstocity continues...
someone phone those ephing tourists in franz ferdinand & explain that changing their name doesn't make them any less worst. 'the black hands'? i was thinking 'the hands that wank'.

also, playing accoustic parking lot sets at sold-out shows has no buzz. you're supposed to show up to packed shows (if even at all) 3 hours late, so drunk you can't remember lyrics properly, & play really loud. go back to prep school you ephing students.

worst news of the day. apparently fox suits & schwartz have been reading retrobuzz of late. revealed in today's usa today is that season 2 of the oc will not air until november. must be re-working story lines, scripts, putting together a job offer for damore, etc. hopefully fox will spend some more time working on & promoting tru calling, the best show ever. sfbovs.

*thx to bigmatt & the grizz for the respective news above

no buzz- 4/20/04 

good friends...very good friends1.) alex rodriguez- way to hit douchehead. maybe moving into the same city as your boyfriend jeter wasn't such a good idea after all? seers, maybe it's the lack of roids rage that has knocked down your power.

whatever it is, you're stinking up metro nyc pretty badly there chief. making $22mil this year, hitting .160 w/ 1 hr & 3 rbi, ouch. you'll likely rebound from your ephing bronx-alley abortion of a start, but you're not going to win a world series ring...ever. that's right, you're cursed. you screwed the yanks when you joined them this winter.

2.) josh schwartz- the oc creater/exec whatevs- i know you're young & considered the golden boy at fox & the next aaron spelling by most, but you're blowing it. the oc has gone from must-see to must-skip towards the end of its 1st season. can you believe i'm a douche?i don't know if it's too much control by the network, or too much pressure on you to make each episode funny/compelling/original, yet w/ mass appeal? here's a couple fundamental story-line mistakes i believe happened (i could go on for hrs):
a) seth & summer- happened too quickly. seth & anna should have dated throughout the remainder of season 1, & built anticipation buzz for season 2 summer/seth. plus, cohen gets some needed experience in the process, training to be w/ summer. you blew your load too quickly, & now storylines are bland at best.
b) summer roberts- gone from best character (not just hottest) on the show to merely eye candy. she started out as beautiful/ self-absorbed/bitchy/witty/wild, but w/ mysterious depth. now she's 'domesticated' as cohen's boring side-kick. no more parties, no more catfights, no more fun.
c) sandy & hott co-worker- i thought the office flirting of sandy & whatever-her-name-is should have gone on longer. kirsten's drinking problem would've worsened, become more erratic, more oc-like.
d) luke & co- became insta-best friends w/ the gang once his dad was revealed as gay. he was better as the cool jock who butted heads w/ seth/chino. should've become sorta friends season1, better friends in 2.

my biggest problem was that it was storied as if there is only one season. needed more patience to let things develop. but maybe that's why he's writing for 10mil on fox & i'm writing for 4 on my blog.
gee, i've never done coke before...do i do the whole plate of it?
3) dwight howard- high-schooler likely to be the 1st pick in the 2004 nba draft- you want to do what w/ the nba's logo--you want to put a cross on it? howard listed as a goal for ~2007 to have influenced the nba enough to have gotten a cross placed on the nba's official logo.

um, i'm pretty sure that not every person in the nba is a christian, even if they all were, why should it be on the logo? everyone loves curly fries, should that be on the logo too? but i don't even believe in jebus! oh great, another boring nba star. just don't pull a len bias & die of a coke od 3 days after draft night.

4) jesus- since that movie about him recently came out, everything is jesus h this & jesus h that. driving by a church baring a billboard directing me to go see 'passion of the christ', very annoying. this guy died 2000 yrs ago, now i'm supposed to be all about him because of some movie by the loon in lethal weapon?

5) spring movies- the alamo- spent 2 hrs just to find they don't even answer the only question you care about--is pee-wee's bike really in the basement? 13 going on 30- i liked it when it was called big. i thought these types of movies went out in the 80's. what's next, ashton kutcher & peter gallagher are a father/son duo who accidentally trade bodies when a science experiment goes wrong?

Monday, April 19, 2004

mondays blow 

chock full of healthy smack goodnessdando buzz- rumor has it the lemonheads are getting back together & will start touring in south america next month. dando has some solo shows booked in the us, but would not confirm the rumors. hopefully they do reform, dando gets back off the smack, & juliana hatfield remains in the line-up. after seeing a disheveled dando at 2 shows last summer, he looked more ephed up on drugs than adam brody at a fox network summer coke party. shmears.

-guest editors- it's cool on blogs, but notso much in newspapers. this week everyone's favorite crap-band franz ferdinand is branching out from displaying a lack of musical talent, to guest editorship of the guardian's art section, g2. bunch of ephing tourists! one can only hope they won't be revealed as guest editors of the blueprint this month.

-may20th- so much buzz- the velvet revolver tour hits detroit, i've heard the state theatre, but that's not confirmed. the stp/gnr hybrid band will reportedly be playing old stp/gnr songs, in addition to tracks from their forthcoming album 'contraband', due out 5/18. i've only heard a couple tracks of their's, but it sounds awesome--heavy stp. the video for the 1st single, 'slither', premiere's 4/27 at 9pm on mtv2. too bad the tour will already cancelled before it even hits detroit. obvs, weiland will eph-up his 12th chance in minneapolis or chicago by getting caught buying/using heroin, guarenteed.

someone fetch me my 'medicine bag'-maybe it was just me, but i was forced into violent wretching last night upon seeing a promo comercial for 'the practice', whereby a rival law firm is headed by william shatner. as if the show wasn't over 2 years ago, this is just another pathetic attempt to try & muster up some guest app buzz (ie sharon stone, spader, etc). shatner/priceline.com, no buzz. although i was glad to see you can finally view flight times on their site. 6am flights to & from nyc blow. dr jack kevorkian would be a more suitable guest star for the final season. he could attach a suicide machine to david e kelly. too bad he's in prison still.

*thanks for nothing fox! wb rips-off fox & will air 7 eps of 'the wb superstar usa', william hung style. um, worst.

*also revealed is some oc buzz...ch-check it out. beasties, so overdue.
*oc/bill hung buzz courtesy of the grizz

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