Tuesday, April 20, 2004

no buzz- 4/20/04 

good friends...very good friends1.) alex rodriguez- way to hit douchehead. maybe moving into the same city as your boyfriend jeter wasn't such a good idea after all? seers, maybe it's the lack of roids rage that has knocked down your power.

whatever it is, you're stinking up metro nyc pretty badly there chief. making $22mil this year, hitting .160 w/ 1 hr & 3 rbi, ouch. you'll likely rebound from your ephing bronx-alley abortion of a start, but you're not going to win a world series ring...ever. that's right, you're cursed. you screwed the yanks when you joined them this winter.

2.) josh schwartz- the oc creater/exec whatevs- i know you're young & considered the golden boy at fox & the next aaron spelling by most, but you're blowing it. the oc has gone from must-see to must-skip towards the end of its 1st season. can you believe i'm a douche?i don't know if it's too much control by the network, or too much pressure on you to make each episode funny/compelling/original, yet w/ mass appeal? here's a couple fundamental story-line mistakes i believe happened (i could go on for hrs):
a) seth & summer- happened too quickly. seth & anna should have dated throughout the remainder of season 1, & built anticipation buzz for season 2 summer/seth. plus, cohen gets some needed experience in the process, training to be w/ summer. you blew your load too quickly, & now storylines are bland at best.
b) summer roberts- gone from best character (not just hottest) on the show to merely eye candy. she started out as beautiful/ self-absorbed/bitchy/witty/wild, but w/ mysterious depth. now she's 'domesticated' as cohen's boring side-kick. no more parties, no more catfights, no more fun.
c) sandy & hott co-worker- i thought the office flirting of sandy & whatever-her-name-is should have gone on longer. kirsten's drinking problem would've worsened, become more erratic, more oc-like.
d) luke & co- became insta-best friends w/ the gang once his dad was revealed as gay. he was better as the cool jock who butted heads w/ seth/chino. should've become sorta friends season1, better friends in 2.

my biggest problem was that it was storied as if there is only one season. needed more patience to let things develop. but maybe that's why he's writing for 10mil on fox & i'm writing for 4 on my blog.
gee, i've never done coke before...do i do the whole plate of it?
3) dwight howard- high-schooler likely to be the 1st pick in the 2004 nba draft- you want to do what w/ the nba's logo--you want to put a cross on it? howard listed as a goal for ~2007 to have influenced the nba enough to have gotten a cross placed on the nba's official logo.

um, i'm pretty sure that not every person in the nba is a christian, even if they all were, why should it be on the logo? everyone loves curly fries, should that be on the logo too? but i don't even believe in jebus! oh great, another boring nba star. just don't pull a len bias & die of a coke od 3 days after draft night.

4) jesus- since that movie about him recently came out, everything is jesus h this & jesus h that. driving by a church baring a billboard directing me to go see 'passion of the christ', very annoying. this guy died 2000 yrs ago, now i'm supposed to be all about him because of some movie by the loon in lethal weapon?

5) spring movies- the alamo- spent 2 hrs just to find they don't even answer the only question you care about--is pee-wee's bike really in the basement? 13 going on 30- i liked it when it was called big. i thought these types of movies went out in the 80's. what's next, ashton kutcher & peter gallagher are a father/son duo who accidentally trade bodies when a science experiment goes wrong?

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