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Friday, March 12, 2004

daddy says she's too young, but she's old enough for me 

the story's been leaked on whatevs, so here's the dish. last nite at the hottest spot in detroit, the magic stick, damore went into sensory overload when just after the church finished their 2nd encore, a mob of teenage hottness appeared at the stick. the event known as 'big american party' features dj tandem the laser & travis analog. it's $5 for <21, & it draws more than a sold-out von bondies record release party EVERY week. these guys are like gods in this place. on to the plot.

so after ~10 seconds of basking in the retrobuzz concert, i was immediately drawn not only to the hott music spinning, but mostly the dozens of dozens (that's ~144, 169 baker's stizz) of young hott girls spinning round on the floor. it was like the greatest thing in the world...~144 faith & buffy's dancing w/ eachother just like in the btvs season 3 ep 'bad girls' at the bronze. i'm a sucker for anything dushku related. bovs
faith+buffy=tru hottness

running low on cash, i hit up the atm, re-loaded on smokes & then was instantly seduced by 3 stunning senior class vixens from A2 pioneer once they saw my wristband. they were touching me all over, whispering to me the dirtiest shit i've ever heard, saying 'oh damore, how would you like to give us some of that retrobuzz we've heard about? we're well aware of the mich stat laws. it's so hot in here, & we're so thirsty...can you buy us a drink...maybe 3 double rum&cokes?' the devil won the debate in my head in 1.6sec.

went over to the bar like i had done preevs when buying for under21's at other shows (guster, mayer etc). as soon as i handed the drinks to the sirens, the fox2 problem solvers jump outta nowhere & start asking me all these loaded questions. like 'sir, are you still having sex w/ minors?' totally shockeyed, i'm speechless. i had seen the camera crew downstairs earlier when i hit the atm, but figured they were there to reveal illegal aliens working there or whatevs.

cops show-up, arrest me for contrib to-the-delinq of minors. turns out the girls got busted for possesh of coke earlier & turned a deal w/ fox2 problem solvers to entrap an innocent man so that the crew didn't waste all that time in wardrobe/make-up for nothing. 2 more hrs & i'm a free man again. 2 more hrs & the 3 girls are outta school. zimas, daq's, & roman cokes at 4pm. rave of the century, house of the dead stizz. mmmmbest.




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