Friday, March 19, 2004

english majors of the world unite 

while i wasn't an english major at the university, i have spoken it for most of my life, which was always good enough for some credit on english class exams. this isn't a posting just to bitch, i've been hearing the same words/phrases butchered for years. some of my favorites:

1.) intensive purposes- this one's my favorite. written, it's intents & purposes, but somehow it gets changed to an objective w/ 'seriousness'.

2.) supposively (or supposably)- i hear these versions of 'supposedly' no less than 5 times a day. it's like nails on a chalkboard, but still amusing none the less.

3.) Camere a minute- unforch i don't hear this low-brow phrase (come here for a minute) much anymore, i heard it habitually used at my former employer, Shockeys & Durstman (aka collins & aikman) in worstland, mi. i'm sure it's used conversationally every 30 seconds in walmarts all over america as well. it's also a reminder that i thought the khmer rouge from the killing fields was called the menshi crei. i wrote an entire report on the movie referring to the menshi crei, instead of the khmer rouge. details, shmetails. still got a b.
4.) kmarts, fords, krogers, etc- i think it's a michigan thing, but why does an 's' get added to the end of every store or company? 'i'm going to kmarts now to but some new martha stewarts collection wife-beaters' or 'i got a hojo yesterday from this girl i work w/ at fords'. it's so white trash it's walmarts. hello, would you like to buy crack in bulk today?

5.) excetera- sfbovs it's et cetera, thus the etc abreev.

6.) lindstrom- as in the red wing defenseman nicklas lidstrom. this one bugs me more as a hockey fan. i'm not sure why so many people add the 'n' to lidstrom, but it shouldn't that difficult to pronounce correctly--it's only like his 13th year playing for detroit. lindstrom, where the n is silent.

if you think of any other good ones, backblog it.

dylan contracts new 'white stripes' std

sadly, the only thing that was ruined this week wasn't just bob dylan's good name, but his d, literally, in the d no less. i know this is soooo yesterday's news, but i was too distraught yesterday to even write about the reports i heard, & read in bloggerville/mc rocks. dylan not only allowed, but invited jack white on stage to perform w/ him at the state theatre weds night during his 2nd encore.
...still better than jack white

dylan had this to say: 'well, i had read about the 'white stripes' std outbreak happening in detroit a few day's ago on retrobuzz, but i just kind of blew off the reports w/ a shrug. who would believe that your d could get white striped, candy-cane style just from being on stage w/ jack white? i don't know how i contracted it...jack said he wanted to bang me, but i shot that idea down quickly.

it must be an airborne disease now. it's beyond std status & right up there w/ monkeypox. in hindsight, maybe bob seger or even gallagher (the watermellon guy) would have been a better choice. i think i'm going to kill myself jason von bondie stizz. listening to every white stripes album 2 times.'
maybe not disease free either, but still better than jack white

even dylan w/ liberace had more buzz than dylan/white.

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