Wednesday, March 10, 2004

suicide buzz at the stick? 

upon hearing the jack white trial news jason von bondie was seen pre-show bowling a couple frames in the garden bowl, templing his fingers doing his best monty burns impression laughing to himself & saying 'excellent' repeatedly in a most evil voice.

while i think the new vb album is VERY solid & catchy, their heavily buzzed performance last night didn't live up to all the expectations. at least miller lite drafts were $1---retro buzz mmmmBEST. maybe i'm down on the show because i'm sick of seeing the same 200 scenesters at every detroit show, & I’m sure the vb's didn’t want to do this at all.

breaking news...
post show jason von bondie commits suicide inducing a deadly brain hemorrhage listening to every white stripes album start-to-finish twice.

von bondie had this to say in his suicide liner notes:

'returning to the magic stick again after getting pummeled by a pastey white no-talent douchebag like jack white was too much to handle. had it been meg, i would have been fine w/ it, hell we'd probably even gotten married by now, but jack, c'mon. he says he was 'provoked'...all i said to him that night was what every other reasonable person says, 'hey pussbag, your band sucks, they should name a new vd after it'. why listen to every stripes album pre-suicide you ask? hearing them play has always made me want to, so i figured i was game this time around.'

Amen brother! rest in peace, you've got retro buzz. cheers

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