Monday, April 12, 2004

irreality tv  

after being sick almost all last week, i decided to go out thurs/fri/sat nights. went to a concert on thurs, a b-day drinking bar night on both fri & sat. i'm right back to where i started last week. sick again. going to see killers/stellastarr* tonight shouldn't help health matters much either, but who ephing cares. what follows are some random drunk ideas i've recently compiled.

i've said it before, i've never really gotten into the whole reality tv thing. maybe some are good & worth watching, but none of the gimmicks ever really appealed to me enough to ever tune in & give them a test drive w/ an option to buy. i wrote about my idea for a new reality tv show 'porcelain princesses' last week here on retrobuzz. here are some other concepts i have that would definitely get me hooked on irreality tv shows. obvs, if fox had any wit & originality, these would be the next generation of their irreality tv staples.

1.) i f*cked your spouse!- the pilot ep

kate is married to tim
lara is married to james
kate & lara are best friends

the network hires a married male or female (kate) to seduce their best friend's (lara) spouse (james) into having an extra-marital affair w/ her. a hidden camera captures all of the seduction sequences, the over-the-top flirting, the aggressive passes made, & the first sexual encounter between kate & james. you follow?

the hired man/woman (kate) stages an argument w/ their best friend (lara) whereby the instigator (kate) is bound to lose the fight. kate throws out a last ditch trump card, 'oh yeah, well i f*cked your husband last night!'. the friend (lara) is in a light laughing state of dis-belief & blows the comment off as bs. the friend, kate, says, 'no really, i f*cked james last night in your bed. wanna go inside & see the tape of us together?'.

they cut to the video of the whole seduction scene through the multiple orgasms documented on film. lara & kate then get into a massive kate fight whereby hair is pulled, clothes are ripped off, & they fall into the conveniently placed pool.

this is the lead-in for the next show...

2.) i f*cked your spouse too!- the pilot ep (from the creators of 'i f*cked your spouse!')

kate is married to tim
lara is married to james
kate & lara are best friends

unbeknownst to kate, who seduced her best friend's (lara) husband james to sleep w/ her, there's a twist. the network was working behind-the-scenes the whole time. they showed some of the footage to lara, & she wants revenge & agrees to seduce kate's husband, tim. after the sexy cat-fight in i f*cked your spouse!, kate & lara have a long conversation about why kate would do that to her best friend, etc. tears are shed from both women, hugs exchanged, & forgiveness is granted. just when you think it's over, lara confesses, 'kate, i also have something to tell you. i f*cked your spouse too!'.

kate is totally in disbelief & thinks lara is bluffing to get back at her. lara suggests they go watch the footage, which consists of lara watching the tape of her best friend seducing her husband on 'i f*cked your spouse!'. the footage then cuts to where Laura starts seducing kate's husband, tim, into having an affair w/ her. lara & tim have sex (3 times) in tim/kate's very own bed. talk about your all-time pre-emptive slut paybacks. hott catfight ensues again, lather/rinse/repeat.

3.) we're your mommy & daddy-
many times adopted children seek out their biological partents later in life for answers to the question why. this show plays on this. adopted children seek out parents, are set-up to meet their real parents, & only their parents are bs'ing actors. the network takes-over an agency (lost then found) that specializes in tracking down adopted childrens' biological parents, fox2 problem solver stizz.

parents are typically played as drug abusing petuli wearing hippie types who make the seekers wish that they never met their newfound parents. inappropriate sexual comments, non-stop cursing, on-screen drug use would be some of the typical scenarios played-out at the 1st meetings. the joke is never revealed, & the 'contestant' storms away w/ closure, in that they're happy that their biological parents gave them up for adoption. it's win-win. the audience laughs, someone gets closure knowing that they are better off now.

'i f*cked your spouse!' & 'i f*cked your spouse too!' have so much potential for spin-offs. i'm thinking lesbian married couples, engaged couples, bi-sexual stripper types, or just plain boyfriend/girlfriend couples, etc. this could be an entire channel devoted to sexual revenge.

any thoughts, good or bad? backblog it or email me at retrobuzz1977@yahoo.com.

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