Wednesday, May 26, 2004

damore's no buzz 5/26/04 

5) whatevs.org- a victim of his own success. zero bandwidth=zero buzz. it's your long over-due vacation from blogging. maybe you'll get promoted to a VP level during the down-time?

'let's get the gazelle out of here!'4) tony little- i saw a few tv spots for hooters featuring fitness 'guru' tony little. not much would be worse than walking into a hooters & having tony little badger you to enter a contest to win a 'gazelle' fitness glider. duhvs they're cross-marketing the gazelle & hooters, cos so many dudes go to hooters to see tony little cardboard cut-outs, & to see the gazelle glider in person. lord knows there aren't already at least 5 gazelle infomercials playing all day every day. whomever is responsible for choosing this guy should be killed, or at the very least get fired.

'what happened to my career?'3) mountain dew- i love mountain dew, but to stay on the wtf?! advertising theme, i have to say that having steven seagal as your big celeb product pusher in a tv advertising campaign in 2004 ain't so bright. i've seen the commercials a few times where seagal is in a convenience store & beats up everyone in the store. maybe 12 years ago, when he wasn't making straight to vhs movies w/ washed-up playmates & terrible rappers. even still it's a stretch. was jean claude already booked-up? did stallone want too much $ since those wildly successful rocky/lipton iced tea ads?

2) pepsi fridge-mate- pepsi, 3 months behind coke, finally launched it's version of the 'fridge pack' (a fridge-space-conscious 12 pack design). unfortunately, every single one i've purchased thus far has been more shoddy than guatemalan-made cars. they all break when you try to open them properly, & 12 cans no doubt hit the deck every time. worst. buzz cola you are not.

1) 'the chronicles of riddick'-the highly anticipated follow-up to 'pitch black'? that movie was durst lumber. some say worse than 'XXX'. vin diesel is probably the worst acting big name star since keanu. good luck this summer, it's the abortion time of the year at dollar theatres nationwide, & you're the equivalent of scooby-doo 2. see you on the shelves at blockbuster in august.

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