Sunday, May 23, 2004

grosse pointe city cops...they ain't too smart! 

saturday i was driving home from the 'dirty kroger' grocery store in gp, & an erratic cop car did a wild u-turn & was about to plow through a red light at my street's intersection, as i approached the light. i thought he was maybe responding to an emergency & needed to blow throught the red light. i had the greenlight, but stopped cautiously & waved him to proceed. i was smoking a cigarette & threw the butt out the window. he waved me on & in my rear view i see him do a 180 turn on his lights/siren & floors it to catch up to me. i live about 12 houses from the corner so it was ~400 feet or so. i pulled into my driveway having no ephing clue why i was getting pulled-over.

damore getting busted?maybe i was too polite at a traffic light? my car fit the description of a stolen car reported? nope. this douchebag cop pulls into my driveway, leaves the lights on, walks up to the car & asks me 'do you know why i pulled you over?'. i said, 'hi officer, how are you today? no, i have no idea.' he said, 'do you know what the fine for littering is? did you know that throwing a cigarette butt on the ground is littering?'. i answered no, which pissed him off. 'it's $500. do you need a $500 ticket for littering?'. i answered, no. he said 'you defiantly threw your cigarette butt on the ground at the light as to be saying fuck off to me'. i said that certainly wasn't my intent, & that i was even politely yielding to him. he went back to the car & came back 5 minutes later w/ a bull-shit doctored up ticket. he said, 'do you want a $500 littering ticket today?'. i said no, & again apologized. he said ok, let me off w/ a warning & said that if i'm going to throw a cigarette butt on the ground, to not do it in front of grosse pointe city cops. as soon as i got inside i yelled for ~10min, 'fuck you grosse pointe city cops! grosse pointe city cops grosse pointe city cops, they ain't too smart! blow me you franzia ferdinand back alley abortions...etc etc etc'.

somehow forgot to mention this oc/tc buzz on friday, finally after a year of pleading to gail berman, president of fox, they're finally heeding my advice this fall. this is a calllast summer i bored all my friends to death stating that fox needed to pit their strongest show, the oc, up against the friends/durstvivor 8-9pm competitors & put tru calling in the 9-10pm timeslot (or vice versa) to get a strong lead-in audience. my theory is that they would completely OWN thursday night tv. apparently rupert & co have been reading whatevs/retrobuzz archives & are making that change this fall. i predict the oc will put 'joey' & matt leblanc out of a job in less than 2 months. tru calling will double-up it's audience to ~8mil per week. thursdays, some say the new x-mas, or what have you.

jager, mmmmbest. slipnot, mmmmWORST!say it ain't so!! jagermeister & slipnot are in bed together. do you like shitty music? slipnot is headlining the jagermeister music tour this summer w/ 2 other shitty bands after a much-too-brief 3 year hiatus from touring. i love jager, but i have to question everything i believe in when i see this kind of marketing partnership. am i walmarts if i like jager? should i be listening to creed & nickelback instead of the verve & the stone roses? um, no. i hope the grizz was joking or drunk on saturday when he said he likes slipnot.

speaking of the grizz, his birthday celebration saturday night at the wab was absopurely mmmmBEST! w/out seantizz & peabs, who were in columbus OH reliving their high-school days going to a jimmy buffett concert, there was a big void in the infrastructure of the fow nation to be made up for. luckily all of the troops rallied & showed up in full force to party. the new libertinesmany interesting coversations were had, including a fun exchange between kegzies & myself re: the libertines. the gorilla recorded the long debate, which ended when i finally walked away to get a drink at the bar. the bet being that damore & grambo would think that the libertines forthcoming mick jones colabortion would in 6 months be our favorite album of 2004. no way, franzia's already locked that up. here is a link to the recording (courtesy of the gorilla). as always, the real party didn't start until ~1am, when the hard-core partiers were pretty much the only people left in the bar. things got out of control & at several points i think we were very close to getting bounced out. happy birthday to the grizz, who's b-day is today.

speaking of absopure, another funny thing i saw this weekend was when absopure water had their spot featuring chuck woolery air in a commercial break during vh1's best week ever. the marketing geniuses at absopure have done their homework. 4 out of the 5 retrobuzz readers watch best week ever, & i've been dropping 'absopure' lingo for a couple months now. that's an 80% target market penetration rate.

gawky birdi finally saw the heavily hyped cold pizza ep from last week featuring ultragrrrl & the 'obvs' throwout. no offense personally to her (i've never spoken to her before), but was wearing a FRANZIA FERDINAND tee really necessary? i would have been okay w/ the killers. speaking of spin mag, can anyone explain why there are like 50 franz ferdinand articles in this month's spin (w/ karen o'durst on the cover)? sorry spin, i'm not writing this to be an a-hole, just as a concerned reader. an interesting comparison might be spin vs nme re: the # of Franzia articles each month.

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