Tuesday, June 08, 2004

body massage 

sick f*ckthe billboard nom's are in & r-kells leads w/ 7, including male r&b artist most likely to (statutorily) rape your teenage daughter (in his mind), & best golden shower home video footage, featuring 14 year old girls. must be new categories, kind of sick if you ask me. kells was reportedly angry that his home video editing work & special effects were snubbed by the nomination committee. special effects being him wizzing in a bottle of the cris', having his 15 year old wife pour it all over her chest, & drink the rest. r-kells then does a voice-over saying, 'do you like, tasting my urine all up in that bitch?'.

this just in, back-alley's across the US were taking #'s in delta force last night. nielsen ratings for last night's tonys award show have been tallied & indicate that the show bit hugh-jass. in fact, possibly the least watched tonys ever. hmmm, hugh jackman as the host? maybe the worst host decision ever. ok, ok--whoopi goldberg, jeff goldblum, susan sarandon, & billy crystal all would've been far worse. let's pick a male actor, who's not funny, & is best known for playing the role of a childrens'-comic-book freak in 2 movies, & van helsing in this year's unrelated sequel to league of extraordinary gentlemen. who cares about the tonys anyway, who watches this crap anyway.

tonight's pistons/lakers game in the la should be another good one. i hope the court stays dry during the game though. gary payton has been crying & pouting like me when i was 5 & my mom wouldn't buy me the g.i. joe cobra command center. baby i'm boredseriously, he's pissed cos his teammates aren't getting him involved in the offense enough, after shooting something like 1-4 w/ 3 points in sunday's game1. he wouldn't talk to the media after the game or yesterday, & was fined 5 grand. now his team-mates have to deal w/ that bs w/ the media. you're a former all-nba player, gary. suck it up & be a man you little beyotch. start acting like an ephing veteran. sorry LA, but you knew what you were getting when you signed him in the off-season. a ball-hogging tempermentally explosive guard past his prime w/ a big ego. don't be surprised if this implodes your team. prediction for tonight's game2: pistons 91, lakers 29

ac/dc to get a street named after them in melbourne, austria. beloved so much that even the austrians have adopted ac/dc as their own sons since so many ignorant americans confuse ac/dc as being from either austria or australia. (link via c friggs)

worstbill parcells, not one to ever by outdone by jeremy shockey, ups the ante by moving on from 4th grade homophobe semantics (ie 'the homo '), & spews out 1940's japanese racial haterade slur-pees in an interview. are you seers big tuna? more like big douchebag. parcells...the racist.

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