Thursday, June 10, 2004
no buzz 6/10/04
5) garfield: the movie- stars jennifer love hewitt, & bill murray. is this really a commercially viable project? didn't the garfield tv cartoon die like 10 years ago? possibly the worst cartoon strip ever, next to 'kathy' of course. if JLH is in it, it must be REALLY bad. she hasn't made a good movie, since... well, okay, she's never made a good movie. i still likey her alot even if she makes crappy movies, & her tv shows make 'cop & a half' look like the greatest movie since 'dumb & dumber'. CG animal stars have no buzz. let me guess, garfield eats alot of lasagna? wouldn't see it even if heidi klum was giving free hojo's at the forum30.
4) 2004 mtv movie awards: wow, musical performances by d12 & the yeah yeah yeahs? no no no. celeb skanks paris hilton & carmen electra kiss, & detroit douchebag m&m moons the crowd. why watch it at 9pm tonight, you already know what's going to happen cos it taped like 2 weeks ago. it will be re-played 300 times by july, & the pistons/lakers are on tonight. any movie award show where winners include '50 first abortions', 'freaky friday abortion', & 'X2- x-men: back alleys revealed' has no buzz.
3) bill parcells, the racist: uses racial slurs in a press conference, says 'no offense intended', & it's 5x5 w/ the nfl & the cowboys' org? just because you look like rodney dangerfield in caddy shack doesn't mean you can call every asian-american 'wang, no offense'. if i was an asia-pacific islander, i would be pretty po'ed right now. if it had been a racial slur referencing african americans in some way, you bet he would have been more heavily reprimanded. since there are very few asian-americans in the league, they looked the other & are trying to sweep it under the rug. shame on you nfl & jerry jones!
2) 'rock star': survivor & apprentice creator & douchebag extraordinaire, mark burnett, is pitching an idea for an irreality tv show where contestants would compete for an opportunity to sing in a rock band & potentially go out on tour w/ the band. what, did this guy spend all of last weekend watching vh1's 'movies that rock'? cos i'm pretty sure the movie by the exact same name & exact same premise played 12 times over the past weekend, & it's horrible. how about this for a reality show: take all of the famous reality tv show creatives, make them compete for their lives each week by creating a reality tv show that doesn't suck. the winner stays alive. that should end the entire genre once & for all.
1) rapists: nice shot in game 2, KoBay Simpson. some rapists have all the luck. you shouldn't even be playing basketball this year. i know you're to be presumed innocent & all (until you're inevitably proven guilty), but did you see OJ doing hertz commercials/nbc commentating when he got pinched for murdering nicole & goldman? no. the lakers have no class, & no buzz. jason kid beats his wife & he gets traded from phoenix to jersey because of it. if you were rick fox, or some other scrub, no doubt you would've been dealt or axed. those greedy LA fucks!
